Dating in the modern age can be complicated, especially with the rise of technology and the array of new social behaviors that come with it. We have to carefully consider which platforms to use, create attractive profiles, and avoid falling for misleading ads. Additionally, we have to navigate the world of texting and the uncertainty of when and how to reply. And let’s not forget the frustrating experience of being ghosted. All of these factors make dating quite different from simply meeting someone in person.
Due to these complexities, we tend to romanticize dating in the past. We imagine a time filled with charming encounters, chivalry, and an added air of mystery because we didn’t have access to someone’s entire digital history. We could even lie about our age if we wanted to (though that’s not recommended, of course!).
However, when comparing dating in the 21st century to the strict social codes of the early 20th century, the differences are apparent. Back then, magazines and books dedicated entire columns to teaching young people proper etiquette for courting. While these guides were highly regarded at the time, they haven’t aged well. At all.
From shockingly sexist gender roles to hilariously outdated recommendations, it’s clear that nearly all of these rules should be disregarded in today’s age. Looking back at the dating norms of the 1930s, ’40s, and ’50s, it’s surprising to see just how far we’ve come. It’s equally astonishing to think that so many people relied on these guides to judge someone’s character.
Take a look at this gallery to see some of the most bizarre etiquette rules from not so long ago and embrace the dating freedom we enjoy today.
How to Behave in a Restaurant
A guide in Woman’s Own magazine provided advice to readers on navigating three-course meals without falling into any etiquette mishaps. Get ready for some unusual rules…
The man always orders
Whether he’s your father, brother, or boyfriend, it is expected that the woman cannot directly request anything from the waiter.
Hold onto your knife
If you happen to drop your knife, kindly request a replacement from the waiter (unless, of course, you are a woman, in which case you must ask a man to make the request). It is essential that you do not, under any circumstance, retrieve it yourself
Don’t order fruit
Reportedly very embarrassing.
Size matters
It is acceptable to eat it with the hands, as long as it has been cut into suitable-sized pieces beforehand.
Avoid fish ordering
Managing it is apparently too difficult.
Remove lipstick stains from your glass before leaving
Leaving lipstick remnants on surfaces such as glasses or napkins is considered inappropriate, but wearing lipstick is encouraged!
Some Foods Demand Distinct Eating Etiquette
Using a fork and knife with asparagus is not recommended, for instance.
Some Foods Demand Distinct Eating Etiquette
Cherries, on the other hand, should be consumed by putting them in the mouth entirely and then placing the pits on a spoon cautiously.
The Use of Spare hairs is prohibited
Do not place your coat, hat, handbag, or gloves on an empty chair. Instead, put your coat on the back of your chair and keep the rest on your lap.
If there is a Spill on the Table, Do not Clean it
If you’re a woman, you should ask a man to call the waiter. Otherwise, simply call the waiter yourself.
If the Waiter Spills Something on You, Don’t React
Because it may cause embarrassment, and it is courteous to avoid making others feel guilty for accidentally spilling hot soup on your treasured attire.
Remember to Tip your Soup Bowl Away From You
According to etiquette, it is considered impolite to tilt a dish towards oneself, or to scoop the spoon towards oneself instead of away.
Eating Cheese with a Fork is not Recommended
It is important to always carefully cut off a small piece and place it on a small piece of bread, emphasizing the small size.
Keep Elbows off the Table
Putting an elbow on the table is seen as comparable to combing your hair at the table.
The Woman Exits the Restaurant First
She needs to make sure the man is right behind her.
Avoid Being Overly Sentimental
In 1938, Parade magazine provided advice cautioning women against attempting to elicit sincerity from men through emotional tactics. Additionally, it emphasized, “men don’t like tears, especially in public places.”
Wear a Bra
However, the magazine specifies that you should only wear a bra if you need one.
Don’t Use the Rear View Mirror for Makeup
“Man needs it in driving, and it annoys him very much to have to turn around to see what’s behind him.”
Don’t Sit in Awkward Positions
The magazine’s illustration of awkwardness was depicted as a woman seated with her legs uncrossed and her arm casually placed on the armrest. How unfeminine and uncomfortable!
Do Your Dressing in Your Boudoir
Why? “To keep your allure.” Makeup should also be applied in a private setting to uphold the illusion of naturally vibrant red lips.
Do not Waste Your Time on Anyone else for Even a Second
“Don’t be familiar with the headwaiter talking about the fun you had with someone else another time. Men deserve your entire attention,” and they couldn’t bear the thought of you having a life without them!
Meet the Parents on the First Date
Meeting a partner’s parents is a significant milestone in a relationship. Back in the ’50s, it was the norm for girls to introduce all their dates to their parents prior to any further steps.
Men Should Wear A Wristwatch
Before going on a date, it was customary for men to inquire about the desired time for returning their companion to her parents. Wearing a wristwatch served as a convenient tool and symbol of reliability for those seeking a second date.
Don’t Talk About Clothes
Apparently, men hate clothes, so women should “please and flatter” their partners by discussing their preferred topics of conversation.
Don’t Talk About Yourself
In her book ‘How to Win and Hold a Husband’ published in 1939, Dorothy Dix straightforwardly advises women: “Don’t talk too much and, above all, don’t talk about yourself, ever. Men have a horror of girls who babble on forever and ever like a brook. Men like to talk about themselves and what they want is an intelligent listener.
PDA is not allowed in public spaces
Any show of affection is in bad taste and will embarrass or humiliate him—because men hate being touched, right?
Do not contact a man during working hours
According to Dix’s book, don’t contact a guy at work. “He will hate you for it, because you are jeopardizing his job. … There is no surer way for a girl to make herself unpopular with men than to be a telephone hound.”
If You are Unsuccessful in Your Country, Pack Your Bags
Dix suggests “Before succumbing to the inevitable she might give herself one more chance by making a change in her environment. Many a girl who is a social failure at home is a success abroad.”
Only Pursue Men After You Hit 30
Dix suggests that women who are over 30 years shouldn’t stand around waiting too long. They should “pick out the particular men they desire to have for husbands and go in for a whirlwind campaign. Virtually any woman can marry any man if she will just go after him hard enough, provided she never lets him suspect that she is being the aggressor.”