Dramatic Romance Plans Gone Worse Than The Titanic
Show of hands, ladies – who here has a boyfriend that pulls out all the stops to plan an elaborate, romantic surprise…only to have it completely flop in execution? raises both hands sheepishly Been there too many times!
These well-intentioned but utterly failed attempts at romance always start off so promisingly. They begin whisking you away on a top secret rendezvous to wine and dine you. Showering rose petals for an intimate couples massage under the stars! Only to reveal…a broke down car in the rain instead. Sigh Oh you sweet summer children.
Come gather round as I regale you with cringe tales of would-be romantic gestures from my past disaster date experiences! Pull up a chair and swap your own Bae’s botched attempts too.
An Almost Literal Train wreck
Let’s set the scene: It was our anniversary weekend during college when my then-boyfriend Brandon wanted to plan something special. He excitedly revealed we would be having an overnight surprise trip, packed my bags and ushered me onto an evening train without reveals.
Sounded romantic enough so far…until halfway through when the train mysteriously stopped for “engine troubles”. We were stranded for HOURS without electricity or signals. Very un-cute.
By midnight, it still hadn’t moved and the whole car was hot and restless. I was this close to punching Brandon’s shoulder for sabotaging our anniversary! Even though deep down I knew it wasn’t actually his fault…I may have taken some frustration out on him anyway. Oops?
The trip only got resuscitated at 3 AM – thus completely sabotaging his hotel dinner plans too. We finally conked out crankily with terrible train food at 5 AM instead. So while Brandon gets an A for elaborate surprise effort? Never again please!
PS: for more cringe stories, don’t forget to check out my recent post on the utmost scourge of mansplainers!
Surprise! I Hate Surprises
Brandon clearly didn’t get the message because next Valentine’s day, he was at it again! I clearly told him surprises trigger my anxiety but did that compute? Of course not!
He once again swept me away for a mystery overnight birthday weekend, simply refusing to give me any trip details whatsoever. As you can imagine, I was a panicked mess the entire journey there.
It was meant to be a relaxing couple’s retreat but I was too busy interrogating Brandon between upset meltdowns! By the time we arrived, my heart rate was through the roof and I was ready to call his mother with anger!
Suffice to say, that wellness retreat didn’t quite have the desired effect. After profusely apologizing and sitting through an hour long rant over a bottle of wine, Brandon finally understood why surprises don’t spark joy for me! Communication and transparency forever!
So ladies, has your loving beau tried pulling off an epic romantic gesture lately only to have it fail gloriously? Please share your stories in the comments below! Misery does love company and we could all use a good commiserate and laugh fest together…