What To Say In A Thank You Note For Funeral: Phrases, Examples & Tips

Losing a loved one is incredibly difficult. During such a painful time, small acts of kindness from family and friends can provide needed comfort and support. Sending thank you notes after a funeral is a thoughtful way to show your appreciation for those who were there for you and your family in your time of need.

In this guide, we’ll share tips, phrases and examples to help you write funeral thank you notes that come from the heart.

How to Write a Thoughtful Funeral Thank You Note

Funeral thank you notes don’t need to be long or overly formal. The important things are expressing your gratitude sincerely and letting people know you appreciated their presence, gestures, or support.

When writing funeral thank you notes, be sure to:

• Send them within 2-3 weeks of the funeral service. It’s understandable if more time is needed due to grief.
• Handwrite the notes if possible, or type if handwriting is difficult. Handwritten notes are more meaningful.
• Use a positive, uplifting tone. Share heartfelt memories and avoid dwelling on the sadness of the loss.
• Personalize each note with a specific memory or quality of the deceased when you can.
• Express thanks for any donations, flowers, food, or other gestures provided.

Taking the time to write thoughtful funeral thank you notes allows us to show love and community, even during difficult times.

Who Should Receive a Funeral Thank You Note

Funeral thank you notes are appreciated by all who supported you and your loved one. Be sure to send notes to:

• Immediate family members of the deceased – Spouse, children, parents, siblings.
• Pallbearers – Friends or family who carried the casket.
• People who sent flowers, donations, food – Include any who contributed.
• The clergy or officiant who conducted funeral services.
• Funeral home staff – Directors, coordinators, drivers.

Don’t worry about sending notes to every single funeral attendee. Close family, close friends, and those who contributed gestures of support are the priorities.

When to Send Out Funeral Thank You Notes

Funeral thank you notes are traditionally sent within 2-3 weeks following the funeral or memorial service. However, if you are still deep in grief, it’s completely understandable to wait a bit longer before taking on the task of writing.

You can wait up to 2 months after the service to send the notes if needed, though sooner is better when possible. Even belated notes will be meaningful for those who supported you in your grief.

What to Include in Funeral Thank You Notes

When writing funeral thank you notes, include:

• An expression of sympathy – “We were touched by your kindness during this difficult time”
• Appreciation for any significant gestures – donations, sending food, flowers, etc.
• A warm memory, story, or positive quality of the deceased – This personalizes your note.
• How the deceased impacted your life – “John was a loving brother and a friend to all he met.”
• Your favorite memory of the deceased – Describe a meaningful moment or story.

Some lovely funeral thank you note phrases include:

• “Thank you for your kindness during this difficult time.”
• “We are so grateful for the beautiful flowers/donation in John’s memory.”
• “It was incredibly touching to hear all the stories and memories shared about Sarah at the service.”
• “Please know we greatly appreciate the support and comfort from friends like you.”

Here are a few funeral thank you note examples:

Short, focused note:

“Dear James,

Thank you so much for serving as a pallbearer at my mother’s funeral. It was a great comfort to have our close friend beside us that day. We are grateful for your friendship and support.

Sincerely,
Martha”

Longer note sharing a memory:

“Dear Mrs. Ellis,

I want to thank you for the lovely wreath you sent for Grandpa Joe’s funeral. He always told fond stories of working together with your father Harold at the furniture factory when they were young men starting out. Grandpa cherished their lifelong friendship.

Your thoughtfulness in sending the beautiful flowers helped us through an impossibly difficult day. We will always remember your kindness.

With gratitude,
Maggie”

Note to Funeral Home:

“Dear Mr. Davidson,

On behalf of our family, I want to thank you and the wonderful staff at Heritage Funeral Home for your compassion and professionalism in handling the arrangements for my brother’s funeral. Everything was handled beautifully, from the visitation to the service, and we greatly appreciate your attention to detail. Please pass on our thanks to everyone involved. You made a very difficult time a little easier for all of us.

Sincerely,
Paul”

Funeral Thank You Note Tips

Here are some additional tips when drafting funeral thank you notes:

• Handwritten notes have become rare and special. Handwrite your notes when possible.
• If handwriting is difficult, a typed note is fine – the sentiment is what matters most.
• Share a specific memory or quality you appreciated about the deceased when you can. This personalizes your note.
• Keep messages uplifting and positive – focus on happy memories.
• Express specific appreciation for any gestures, donations, flowers, food, etc that were given.
• Sign your first and last name to personalize the note further.

Alternative Ways to Show Thanks for Funeral Support

Beyond sending funeral thank you notes, there are additional meaningful ways to show your appreciation for those who supported you and your loved one:

• Make a donation to the deceased’s favorite charity in lieu of gifts.
• Have a gift like flowers or a fruit basket delivered to their home.
• Attend burial or ash scattering if you were unable to be at the main ceremony.
• Set up meal delivery services for the grieving family for several weeks.

The most important thing is to express your sincere gratitude in whatever way feels most meaningful to you. Every act of kindness, no matter how small, makes a difference.

Final Thoughts

Writing personal thank you notes to those who supported and comforted you in your grief can provide closure after losing a loved one. Although a simple gesture, these notes convey deep appreciation.

Take time to grieve, be patient with yourself, and then write from the heart. Your funeral thank you notes will be treasured mementos in difficult times.