Beyond Butterflies: Key Areas to Think About Before Racing to Say “I Do”

When love strikes like lightning, couples often sprint giddily towards matrimony, drunk on romantic fantasies. Heart euphoria of finding “the One” and saying “I do” feels so overwhelming that slowly strolling through Before Marriage planning sounds plain boring!

But around year three, once dopamine highs dip and daily life duties reality sets in…avoided awkward conversations arise uncomfortably. Vision differences surface no longer smoothed over by exciting intimacy. Money fights get nasty fast. Parenting approaches conflict sharply once baby arrives crying all night.

Then shocked partners find themselves stuck struck in draining relationships built on sunny assumptions instead of conscious understanding about each other’s goals, needs and boundaries from the get-go. Hearts heal faster having asked harder questions before racing rapidly into legal contracts while wearing rose-colored glasses.

Let’s explore essential facets beyond feeling head-over-heels in love that prove critical to evaluate together through raw honest conversations before joyfully jogging down the aisle breathlessly saying “I do!”

Really Knowing You: Assessing If Long term Vision Aligns

When that special soulmate seems to “I do” magically during early dates, easy incorrectly assuming you share the same dreams about the big stuff moving forward too. But future planning often unveils surprises splitting folks. Better to map journeys clearly first.

• Do you both enthusiastically want babies – if so, how many? Dogs or cats? What general parenting styles?
• What are your dreams regarding career dreams, buying nice homes eventually, adventure travels, retirement goals? When do you each target milestone markers hoped for?
• How will you smoothly decide holiday plans together annually – balancing both extended families?

Slowly strolling through these pivotal vision topics keeps couples locked in, moving ahead peacefully same direction for decades together. Otherwise unpleasant conflicts erupt easily assuming partners automatically share major life priorities. Take it from me verify openly you both wholeheartedly support each other’s wishes and sweetest dreams 100% too! It makes all the difference.

Discussing Bedroom Expectations Honestly

While the spicy, fun early stage of exploring each other’s sensual side feels thrilling…libidos and preferences evolve over lifelong commitments spanning ages and stages. Compatibility helps smooth out humps ahead.

• How often ideally do you each desire physical intimacy weekly or need to feel emotionally close? How experimental or adventurous sexually – what’s exciting versus uncomfortable boundaries?
• Does either person lean more conservative or liberal regarding flirtatious friendships outside the marriage? Watching pornography occasionally? What protects fidelity?
• What sexual turn ones or turn offs should the other avoid or engage? Painful past bedroom experiences requiring sensitivity?

Safe space for unveiling vulnerabilities and collaboratively co-creating agreements protects all’s wellbeing in this delicate area moving forward. Otherwise bruises get carried silently when unspoken needs go unmet or rocky family patterns replay unconsciously. So lovingly lay all cards on table! What either finds comfortable or stressful discussing around sensual connections actually proves deeply insightful forging greater bonds.

Evaluating Financial Perspectives – No Surprises Please!

Listen guys and gals, keeping secrets or avoiding money talk frankly before tying legal knots causes major misery once weighty combining households collisions happen. Get utterly honest in this domain!!

• Thoroughly investigate your individual attitudes on spending, planning ahead, luxuries versus practicality.
• Carefully reveal existing assets/property owned and debts owed currently. Yes, pull full credit reports sheepishly if needed!
• What did your family teach working for, saving or investing money? Similar or opposing outlooks?
• Who will manage daily costs, retirement accounts, major purchase decisions after married? Oversight to prevent problems?

Building stable financial foundations fortifies couples creating abundant futures together. But undisclosed secrets around finances often damage emotional security fast. So gently expose all money matters between you BEFORE surprises disrupt peaceful pathways later. Live simpler presently if needed in order to feel safe and truly rich in trust for fatter financial decades ahead yet to come!

If Fights Happen: Plan for Conflict Management

All couples argue sometimes right? But how you handle blowup makes or breaks lasting love. Having tactics to reconnect peacefully pre-agreed feels reassuring versus reacting amateurishly when tensions hit high notes.

• What specific words, tones or actions trigger each other’s anger quickest typically?
• What comforting connection helps each feel cherished again after upsets? Needing verbal apologies or quiet cuddling?
• How frequently do check-ins to prevent simmering emotions help feel safe faster? Next day? Few hours later?
• When disagreements happen, what communication ground rules apply for fighting fair protecting the friendship bonds between you?

Co-creating conflict management guidelines purposefully later silences “divorce!” reactions when you inevitably step on each other’s toes down road. Accidents occur but can heal easier having loving Band Aids in place promising patience, forgiveness and commitment cradling marriage through ugly moments fate brings.

Clarifying Boundaries on In-Laws/Families

Speaking of potential hot button issues that could use calming tactics…how much will extended relatives participate actively in your newfound family lives after exchanging rings? Better define desires upfront before legal papers sign!

• Will parents provide free childcare help routinely or give unsolicited advice on parenting styles?
• Can sister Sally crash weekends impromptu when fighting with husband?
• What financial contribution feels comfortable regarding investment property with brother?
• Set healthy communication patterns early gently training kin your needed boundaries.

Getting clear together defining protected spheres of autonomy shields tender new marriage buds from getting trampled by well-meaning but pushy kin. Your primary plant requires careful sheltering while roots establish deeper before adding outside forces. Frame limits lovingly, not combatively.

Rather than constrained checklists depleting love’s mystery intensely felt in dating days, view these considerations as caring conversations safeguarding the garden where your spirits nourish each other through growth decades ahead.

Discuss with wonder at all the delight life saves for soulmates who whisper excitedly together first about destinations before departing hastily on trips leading who knows where without planning properly. Adventure lasts longer proceeding mindfully! May your marriage bloom beautifully through meaningful dialogue building bonds brick-by-brick. But always follow your heart  not just my heady advice or society’s ideals. Destiny winks where gut instincts point passionately.