In a world where appearances often overshadow substance, it’s easy to be fooled by smooth talkers and false personas. But amidst the noise, there are those rare individuals who exude authenticity – the truly genuine people. They are the ones who say what they mean and mean what they say, who stand by their values, and who treat others with respect and kindness. But how do you recognize them? Here are 13 signs that you’re dealing with a genuinely authentic person. This guide will help you discern the real from the fake, and in the process, perhaps inspire you to cultivate these qualities within yourself. So, let’s embark on this journey of discovery together.
They ask, “How are you?” instead of saying “Hope you’re well”
“Hope you’re well!” and “Hope you’re doing OK” are both fine pleasantries to receive. But someone who says these things doesn’t want to know how you are. If they did, they’d ask it more specifically.
Someone who genuinely cares about you and is interested in how things are going for you are more likely to ask, “How are you?”, rather than say, “Hope you’re OK”.
2. They laugh a lot
Some people laugh out of nervousness. Some people laugh to people. But some people laugh because they’re genuine people with a good sense of humor! But if someone always seems upbeat, and happy to laugh when the time is right, they’re probably a pretty genuine person!
3. They smile with their eyes
There’s the age-old saying, “A smile is a mirror of the heart”. But this is only true if it’s a genuine smile. Or, as psychologists like to call it, a Duchenne smile! People across the globe recognize the Duchenne smile as the most genuine sign of happiness in a person. If you’ve ever seen someone truly look happy, you’ll probably know exactly what this kind of smile looks like!
Research shows that a genuine smile occurs when the “zygomaticus major muscle lifts the corners of your mouth at the same time the orbicularis oculi muscles lift your cheeks and crinkle your eyes at the corners”. But in simpler terms, it means their smile lights up their face and reaches their eyes!
4. You feel like you can trust them
Do you ever get this gut feeling that someone can’t be trusted? Like you’re at work and your coworker tells you to do something, and you just get a bad feeling about it. Like there’s something they aren’t telling you…
On the flip side, are there times when someone says to you, “You can trust me” or “I won’t tell anyone” – and you just believe them? Usually, this feeling comes from their body language. If someone is tense or fidgety, experts say you’re more likely to think they can’t be trusted.
Their behaviors and words have an impact, too. Like if they gossip, cancel plans, avoid questions, or don’t offer empathy – you’re less likely to trust them than someone who does the opposite. When you’re dealing with a genuine person, you’ll just feel like you can trust them. You won’t exactly know why, but something about their actions and persona makes you feel like you can talk to them about anything.
5. They sincerely empathize with you
“I’m sorry”, someone says to you, with a look of compassion in their eyes, their head tilted slightly, and their hand gently reaching for your shoulder. “I’m sorry”, someone says, with a blank vacant stare, keeping their distance, a bored look on their face – with maybe a little eye roll thrown in there!
They’re the same words, but one is said genuinely while the other isn’t. Narcissists don’t have a lot of empathy (or any), but they usually learn how to fake empathize with people. Experts call this “cognitive empathy”, which is when you empathize with someone without feeling the emotions of the other person.
Yet genuine people never fake empathy. They show compassion like the first example – and you feel like they truly care.
6. They’re the same person no matter who you’re with
One minute you’re talking to someone and they’re telling you how much they love your shoes and are being nice, nice, nice. They change their opinions – sometimes even their whole personality – depending on who they’re with.
This isn’t a genuine person. When you’re talking to a genuine person, they’ll be consistent in how they act. They aren’t nice one moment and unkind the next. They are the same person, with the same views, no matter who you’re with.
7. They have their own opinions and interests (and stick to them!)
Everyone changes their mind occasionally. Experts even say that changing your views or interests is a sign of personal growth! But this change usually happens over time. It doesn’t happen from one day to the next, depending on who you’re talking to.
Genuine people have their thoughts, views, opinions, and interests. They have a quiet confidence about them, too. They might hide their views sometimes, namely